Jul 24, 2021
Death of what, exactly?
Since the beginning, we were taught death is the end. A closure, the final stop. We never really learned how to deal with it, or how to accept it. Cause there’s no right answer or tactic. Grief is personal, it is particular. We were never taught how to let go.
For creatures who live in a material world, where “real” is mostly associated with “touchable”, losing people of sight for the irreversible and unknown death is tricky — at the least. Death is, at the same time, our only certainty in life, and that unwanted moment that no one knows how to get through.
In 1999, the famous “Matrix” movie already questioned the definition of real, and I think it fits this matter.
“What is real? How do you define ‘real’? If you are talking about what you can feel, smell, taste and see, ‘real’ are simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain”.
Maybe life — and death — are way beyond the definition of real.
Death in other points of view
In Mexico, the famous cult of the dead in “Día de Los Muertos” turns into a cult of life. On November 2, not only the dead are remembered, but their tastes are honored, like favorite foods, drinks and songs. It's a real tribute.
Beers, food decorated with flowers and musicians specialized in this kind of festivity cheer places, streets and families. Mexican kids are familiar with the death issue, and even some cartoons explain the Día de Los Muertos.
In Mexico, the vision about death is so internalized in culture, that there’s a cult to the Santa Muerte, or, in English, the Saint Death: a holy figure venerated by the faithful through prayers, cults, candles and amulets. The skeletal figure dressed in a long robe is associated with protection, healing and the delivery to the afterlife.
In Mexico, death is what it should be: light, understood, and a natural process — which it is. But, of course, it isn’t easy in practice.
In Catholicism, it is a classic ritual going to the church on the 7th day after the person’s death, to light up her soul. In Buddhism, the 7th day after the death also calls for a reunion, but, in this culture, family and friends gather to celebrate the dead’s memory through seven meetings during 49 days. “From the dust we came and to the dust we shall return”, is what the Bible verse Genesis 3:19 says.
In gypsy tarot, the Death’s Card tends to scare some people, but it is not related to physical death. It actually symbolizes transformation. It does not represent the end of life, but the end or an interruption of cycles or phases. The card teaches us about the importance of letting things go, so new events can come to our lives and flourish.
So, when we are grieving, what exactly are we mourning about? Is it the lack of physical presence, the voice sound, the hug heat, or all the motives? We get so attached to physical presence and carnal contacts that, when we no longer have them, it feels like everything is over. It feels like is the end.
But from a spiritual perspective, death is just the end of a cycle and the start of another. Death is the release of the spirit, is a mission accomplished, is a flight to the next phase or to the well-deserved eternal rest. According to this concept, material life is just a passage, a process.
The biggest pain is felt by the ones who stay. So maybe Mexican people are right. Why not celebrate and honor people also when we no longer can’t be with them— physically?
Henry Scott-Holland would say:
“Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, we still are. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used to. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner”.
So is death really the end? Or is the end of the life we know? Yes, people die. But they leave some marks with us, things that remain alive inside of us forever. And for those marks, there is no such thing as death.
